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Just when local sportswriters were trying to come up with some new headlines for the Red Sox losing streak, the team came up with a win, negating hours of hard work by writers across Red Sox Nation.

Pessimistic Sox-haters will say it’s only one game. They may go into another tailspin and the following headlines remain fitting and proper with a horrendous start by the Old Towne Team.

Some of the headlines you may see this week by hard-working sportswriters and editors include:

“Yesterday the Red Sox sailed down the Charles River on a duck boat and promptly sank.”

“We have met the enemy and his eyes are pinstriped.”

“Don’t fire until you see the yellow of Theo's eyes.”

“We have not yet begun to play.”

“Say it ain’t so, Gonzo.”

“Wake, wake me when it’s over.”

Bleacher Report - Sports & Society
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