Local Event Sports Association

"I told you, my name isn't Kenny. It's Butters."—Leopold "Butters" Stotch from South Park

If you ever need a reminder to choose your friends carefully, Butters is your man . Judging from the plague of stupidity befouling the professional sports landscape (and many of its talent crops), the animated reminder is falling on deaf ears.

Woe be to the man who surrounds himself with what he wants rather than with what he needs. But I'll get to that...

As much as I love professional sports, it would be insane to argue any one is without its considerable warts.

The National Football League is stubbornly staring at a labor dispute that's growing more ominous by the day. Major League Baseball observers continue to watch incredulously as Bud Selig, the MLB Players Association, and the owners battle common sense over the performance-enhancing drug issue.

And the National Basketball Association appears to be losing money faster than countries bordering the Mediterranean (thanks to our ban...

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