Local Event Sports Association

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God: Creator of Worlds, Decider of Super Bowls

By Jeff Wahl On May - 28 - 2010
No wonder this planet is going to Hell, God is way too busy fixing the Grammy's and deciding who wins the Super Bowl to bother fighting the forces of Evil. I'm looking at you David Caruso.  If God was paying attention then clearly your inexplicable acting career would have ended after the release of Kiss of Death and before Jade.  Now we're left with this. Satan 1—God 0 But I digress. What happened to you God?  You used to be cool. Over 13 billion years ago (or 4000, but lets not split hairs), God created the Universe.  This vast entity comprises everything perceived to exist physically, the ...
Bottom of the ninth and two outs. There was a runner on first and a ghost runner on third, and Moose, the neighborhood meathead and opposing team's best hitter, was at the plate. Filthy, drenched in sweat, and a tightly wound bundle of nerves, I stood on the mound (which was actually just a chalk line drawn on the ground)—the loneliest kid on earth. All the catcalls of "Heeyyyy batta batta batta" or "pitcher's got a rubber arm!" had coalesced into a deafening cacophony of white noise, yet I could distinctly hear the rhythmic "thump, thump, thump" of ...

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